


Dear diary

by millygal



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 02:06:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10652703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: Ray's never gonna be able to pluck up the courage...He gets a little help from someone completely unexpected.





	Dear diary

Alright, here's the thing, when someone you've been friends with for years starts looking more and more like shagging material, what do you do?

It wouldn't be a problem, not really except, this someone's got a nob and a distinct lack of tits or anything else that makes them womanly. 

Ray's pretty sure Chris isn't really into blokes but he's been lusting after him for months now and it's gonna drive him completely bloody insane if he doesn't do something about it. How in the hell **do** you do something about fancying the guy that's seen you snort peanuts up your nose and watched you heaving up everything you've ever eaten after a very hectic night in the pub?

He's doomed, sodding doomed.

Ray's sat at his desk, pretending that he's really into his pile of paperwork when in fact he's ogling Chris over the top of the swaying stack of files. Every so often Chris flicks his hair out his eyes and Ray's stomach does back flips. It's becoming increasingly more difficult not to just stare, open mouthed and he's acutely aware that Sam keeps watching him with a calculating look in his eye.

Ray knows full well he should actually get some work done but he's finding Chris's 'off with the fairies' look far more appealing than some dusty old papers.

It'll only take Chris turning his head and he'll be able to see Ray keep eyeing him up and down. Wouldn't that be entertaining?

Ray's torn between enjoying the view and not wanting to risk discovery. He really doesn't want Chris twigging onto him 'cos that'll mean he not only humiliates himself but he'll lose a good mate. They've been joined at the hip since Chris first came into the department and Gene'd instructed Ray to 'look after the little guy'. 

This is perhaps taking 'looking after' a little too far but that doesn't stop Ray imagining Chris covered in hot fudge sauce bent over his desk begging for more.

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Ray's really not one for will power either. His libido doesn't discriminate against any situation. Chris can be doing something completely innocent and Ray's over active imagination will twist it until Chris's naked and pleading for Ray to take him. 

He's a perv, a complete perv. Ok, so he's 'experimented' once or twice. What bloke hasn't, but Chris's his best mate, he really shouldn't be harbouring deviant ideas about the two of them locked in the supply cupboard.

Chris's worrying his bottom lip with his teeth and Ray keeps imagining his teeth replacing Chris's. He must look like he's on drugs or something because Tyler's come over and is waving a hand in front of his face, clicking his fingers and jabbering at him..

"Earth to Ray, hello, anyone home? You alright Carling?"

"Wh..Yea, yea fine. Why?"

Sam's smirking at him and biting his lip. Oh bloody wonderful. Twinkletoes knows something's up. In fact, judging by the knowing, smug look on his face, he knows exactly what's up.

"S'nothing, you just looked a bit spaced out, that's all"

"I'm fine, piss off"

Despite Ray's gruff tone, Sam's still smirking and now he's looking at Chris who's playing some game with a couple of pencils, making them dance and talk to each other. He looks from Chris to Ray and back again before grinning even wider.

"You can always come chat to me if you've got something you wanna get off your chest"

"Yea sure, whatever. Look I'm real busy, paperwork ya know"

Ray waggles a file in Sam's face and tries to hide behind it until Sam takes the hint and buggers off.

Sam chuckles, shakes his head and wanders back to his own desk, sneaking little looks over his shoulder and grinning.

Ray ducks behind his pile of unfinished paperwork and prays for the ground to open up and swallow him. No way he's ever gonna talk to Sam about this little problem. It'd give the guy enough ammo to dine out on for months.

*

*

*

Oh for the...bloody hell. Now he and Chris are in the back of the Guv's car and he's squashed up against the skinny bloke and desperately thinking of anything unsexy he can lay his memory on. It's not fair, not bloody fair at all.

How come he always has to sit in the back with Chris? It would be one of the hottest days of the year, wouldn't it. Chris's got the top three buttons of his shirt undone and his tie's hanging loosely round his neck, giving Ray a tantalizing glimpse of flesh that's got his blood pumping and his brain fritzing.

Tyler and the Guv are arguing about something as usual and Ray's really trying to concentrate but his mind's got other ideas. His eyes keep drifting back to Chris's exposed chest and the tiny dusting of hair he can see above the line of his shirt. It's making it very difficult for him to even pretend to care what the two in the front seats are on about.

As Gene takes a corner at top speed and Sam shouts abuse at him for driving like a pillock, Chris slides across the back seat and slams into Ray's side. He completely loses his balance and ends up practically in Ray's lap, causing Ray to hiss and shove Chris away before he feels the erection bulging behind his fly.

"Ger'off ya div"

"Sorry Ray, not my fault the Guv drives like a maniac"

"Oi, I 'eard that"

"He's not wrong though is he Gene?"

"You can shut up, less you wanna walk back to the nick"

Ray bunches his fists in the material of his trousers and stares straight ahead, willing his cock to stop thinking him into a corner. He sees Sam smirking at him out the corner of his eye and grits his teeth to stop himself snapping at him.

S'not the bosses fault he's a raving nymphomaniac. He can blame him for most things but this one's all his own doing.

"You ok, Ray?"

"I'm bloody fine, why'd you keep askin' me that!"

"No reason.." Sam looks at Chris then ducks his head and smiles again "..just thought you looked a little freaked out"

Ray runs a hand over his face, tells himself that Sam did not just silently inform him that he knows what Ray's been thinking about the last ten minutes and tries to imagine himself a way out of the Guv's car.

When he doesn't magically end up in the pub with a double in his hand, he sighs and looks out the window. Ignoring the still tempting piece of flesh that Chris is flashing.

*

*

*

They're all in the pub, in varying states of drunkenness and Ray's got himself into a conversation with Chris that's revolving around name calling and playing poker, badly. In fact, it's starting to look a lot like pairs rather than poker and Ray's already had to fork over six quid 'cos his motor functions aren't up to scratch.

Chris's still got his shirt undone but now the tie's been completely lost and his hairs all ruffled. Ray's finding it extremely hard not to reach out and run his fingers through it and he's still fully aware that Sam's looking at him from the corner of the room.

He's sat with the Guv and they've got their heads together, discussing or arguing over something but every so often, Ray can feel someone watching him and he'll turn round and find Sam's smirking face staring back at him.

Once or twice Sam's even tipped his glass at Ray and it's starting to get his back up. He knows, he has to and why does he have to be so damned nice about it? He's used to the boss being confrontational, not conspiratorial. 

The fact that Ray's seriously considering taking Sam up on his offer of a 'chat' is cause to either stop drinking or drink enough to warrant his stomach being pumped. He's only entertaining the idea because Chris's looking adorable and shaggable and a whole mess of things ending in 'able' and he's gonna go crackers if he doesn't get to kiss him some time soon yet he knows he's not gonna get to kiss him ever.

Argh. This thinking around in circles is doing his brain and his bollocks no good. His brain's about ready to go bang and his bollocks are heading the same way. He's had a permanent hard on for hours and Chris keep leaning forward and ruffling Ray's 'tache with his breath isn't making the situation any better.

It should be illegal for someone to look so edible when they're that drunk and he's willing to bet his life savings that Chris's got no idea how sexy he really is. Might be that Ray's biased but Chris's 'dopey' thing is quite cute and god help him 'cos cute isn't a word he should even know.

Chris leans forward again, this time almost completely covering the table and knocking their drinks on the floor, lays a hand on Ray's leg and squeezes, "You alright mate, look a bit spooked"

Chris's hand on his thigh is hot and it's burning straight through his trousers to the skin beneath, causing him to have to grit his teeth and nod. He's not willing to open his mouth because he's sure he'll just end up moaning like a whore in heat.

He looks away from Chris's open expression and sees Sam smirking and sipping on his drink, fine, right, that's it, he's gonna have to talk to someone.

Pushing his chair back, he walks away from Chris and straight to Sam, slips a hand in his collar and yanks him to his feet. He hears the Guv shout but doesn't stop until they're out the back of the pub and he's got Sam pinned against the wall, "What..ok, what is so fuckin' funny?"

"Nothing Raymond, just, don't you think it's about time you actually did something"

"I am doing somethin', I'm contemplatin' kickin' the shit outta your skinny arse"

Sam flashes him that insufferable smile and shakes his head, "That's not quite what I had in mind. I meant, Chris isn't gonna come to his senses unless you give him a little nudge"

Ray deflates and steps away from Sam, letting him slump down the wall. He sits down on a barrel and puts his head in his hands, "What the 'ell am I gonna do, boss?"

"Like I said, nudge him"

"But, it ain't natural, is it?"

Sam plonks himself down on a pile of crates and looks at Ray. He looks like hell, all flushed and angry yet there's something else to him tonight. Like he's finally taken all he can.

"That, DS Carling, is a matter of opinion"

"What d'ya mean?"

"Well..how can I put this, if you find someone you can connect with, it doesn't matter if they're a woman, a man or a Hermaphrodite.."

"Hermaphrowhat!"

"Never mind, all I'm saying is, take a chance. I reckon Chris might surprise you and it's not about natural or unnatural. I could kill Gene half the time but I still think he's the sexiest bloke I've ever met"

Ray's face is the picture of comedy surprise, it's like someone's just handed him a bomb and pushed him off the edge of a cliff.

"You, you an'...an' he doesn't...but"

"Calm yourself Ray. Is it really that hard to imagine? Think about all those bloody minded fights and the macho cock measuring. Was only a matter of time before we..."

"How long then?"

"A while. He reckons you should get on with it an' all"

Oh god, the Guv knows too, bugger.

"Oh Christ, please tell me you two puffs don't discuss me an' Chris.."

"Hey, no need to be rude is there? If you're gonna point the finger, perhaps you should focus on the three pointing back at you and take a long hard look at yourself 'cos if we're puffs, so my friend, are you"

Ray knows he's just being bastardish to try and take his mind off the fact that he's got a big old crush on his best friend. Sam's, for once, only trying to help. The thought of him and the Guv should really be kinda freaky but it's not. If Ray thinks about it, they do seem to fit quite well. 

"So, nudge 'im?"

"Yea"

"How?"

"I dunno, he's your mate, just, give him a little shove in the right direction. Hell, if you think he can handle it, give him a bloody great push and snog his face off in the middle of the pub but you've gotta do something 'cos you'll end up losing him as a friend when you can't get over the fact you want him"

"When'd you start makin' so much sense?"

"I always make sense Ray, you just never like hearin' what I've got to say. You and Gene have got a lot in common. Now piss off back indoors before Chris thinks you've run away"

*

*

*

Ray and Chris are walking back to Chris's place. Ray feels like he's walking a date home which does scramble his brain a little but he's not comfy letting Chris wander back to his parents place on his own. Any one would think Chris was a kid not a copper.

They're round the corner from Chris's house when Ray suddenly stops him with a hand on his arm. Chris raises his eyebrows but doesn't say anything and Ray's too preoccupied talking himself into having a back bone to notice Chris's confusion.

Nudge him, how do I nudge him, I don't wanna nudge him I wanna shag him...Not helping, just get on with it, say something before he ends up thinking you're a special case.

Ray focuses on Chris's eyes. He's got one green, one blue and they've always fascinated Ray. He's so busy paying attention to Chris's multi coloured irises, he forgets to feel nervous anymore and reaches out, cups a hand to Chris's cheek and bends forward so their lips are brushing against each other.

Chris doesn't flinch the way Ray'd been expecting, he simply melts into the embrace, brings his arms up and loops them over the larger man's shoulders.

Ray feels the last of his nervous energy seep away and he's left holding Chris and smiling like an idiot. Chris starts to shuffle his feet and Ray goes with him, they spin slowly, still kissing and touching, dancing disjointedly to a tune no one else can hear.

Five minutes pass and they have to come up for air or one of them's gonna pass out. Ray's grinning like a maniac and Chris is smiling softly up at him. It makes Ray's stomach jump up and down, forcing his vocal cords to finally work.

"Chris I..."

"At bloody last"

"What?"

"You got any idea 'ow long I been waitin' for you to pull ya finger out an' do that"

"Oh..."

Chris chuckles, slides a hand down Ray's arm and takes his hand. Together they walk the last few yards to Chris's place then he turns, brushes his lips against Ray's and smiles again.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yea, yea 'course"

"Fancy goin' for a drink or somthin'?"

"What, like a...a date?"

"You don't think I'm givin' it up without a little effort do ya?" 

Chris giggles, gives Ray one last look and wanders up the path to his front door.

Ray grins, shakes his head and turns to leave, feeling lighter on his feet than he has in months. A date, that'll be fun, wonder if Chris puts out on a first date?


End file.
